Moving Out

Moving Out

This house

i moved in with hopes and plans

the idea seemed so inspiring back then

i thought i knew where i was weak

and what stopped me from being what i wanted to be

but i was shy to tell others who could have helped me

instead i took it on myself

a new start, a new place and a few changes of colors and shades

i had planned and so was arranged

the beginning romance

it was a fresh feeling

full of energy and enjoyment and pictures of a better self almost portrayed

but slowly like the approaching autumn

the greens shed and over took the grays

the seldom sounds around reminded of the spring times

the friends from the past

those who had helped earlier but were kept in dark

about the tainted inner picture

the moments of rejoice bygone recalled me and humbly suggested

"alas, it was not such a grand idea!"

better i was with them

who chastised and expressed disappointment

with when i lost the plot or acted foolish

those who had invested their sincere concerns

but my false ego could not handle any constructive criticism

instead it fooled me

and thus i lied to others

and made the choices

that left me empty, cold and even further away

now as the winters approach and when it rains

it reminds me of the coldness that has sunk into me

and has left no room for any hope

as packed boxes of all old anomalies lays all round

every where on the floor of the heart

and there are few new additions too

in the wardrobe of the mind

all i can do now, i guess

is move out

and hope to be taken back

in the circles of those who had helped

and i am sure will do so again

and help me clear up

the floor, the drawers and the wardrobes

from all that i've been hording for years together

patitanaam pavanebhyo, viashnavebhyo namo namah